Home
Myself. [entries|friends|calendar]
(A)//(E)

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

frustration [18 Dec 2008|11:31am]
[ mood | cranky ]

I'll start this post off with my night at the dethraid show. By the way, Dethraid was amazing, they had intros like Disrupt and the energy was really vibrant.

So I show up and say hello to a select few, although I knew everybody but I didn't really want to talk to certain people -- like kenn. So I'm standing there, and I hear, "LOWWLIFE" and its that dumbass with a group of lameass people that are posing for a picture with a man they barely know. He comes to the group infront of me, and says, "Hey! I need you guys to get in this picture with me!" I turn away like I don't know he's there. Then Kenn finally approaches me, and is like "have you seen debra?" "no." "well she stole my laptop." "Oh I heard something like that" "WELL WHY DONT YOU ANSWER MY TEXTS?" "Cause kenn, my screens broken." Then he starts talking like how he does when he's drunk. He walked away.

Then Sarah Jordan walks up to me.. "Hey slut, hey bitch, hey fag" "Hey Sarah" Jesse walks up and she's all, "We were yelling your name for like 5 minutes" So Sarahs standing there and I'm all laughing at nothing, really but then she's all yeah I just saw these kids that walked up to kenn and was all "Is this how you throw up loww life?"

Kenn walks up to me later and is telling me how he went back to the darkside since he broke up with that somalian girl because "she was more worthless than the wreched whores I get out on the streets" and he's all "but I havent done dope or nothing, just drinking, I'm alittle shwilly right now as you can tell, and I've partook in the nuggets" ahahha hippie. yeah right. Then some weird crackhead is staring at us from around a random persons van and Kenns all "this is my room mate" and the dude came at me trying to grab at something and I was not feelin it I went around kenn and dodged him, then the dude tries to touch up on my man! ugh. Then that kid.. with the crass on his leather jacket comes up with some high school ese, and kenns like "here's some new recruits, theyre loww life--hey guys, she has a loww life tattoo" and I finally said, "Kenn, I'M NOT DOWN. SORRY." Those kids were like "OHHHH" and they walked away..



Yesterday, I was getting a little crazy. I told cleatus that I called the cops on mikes house because he took my car and ended up gone for 2 hours and finally I call him and hes at mikes. So Mike has KIWY call me and talk shit. Dude, don't have a 17 year old heroin addict calling me and leaving voicemails saying im a cunt. I'm not addicted to drugs, I dont fuck pimps 'cause I have to' HAH another one of those. BIG reason why I seperated myself from all those hap hazards.


Alright, we're going to Lake Morena.

[(A)//(E)] ||

[02 Apr 2008|11:40pm]



[(A)//(E)] ||

okay... [31 Mar 2008|01:17am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

so within the last couple weeks i've been in san diego, things have been alright. i've gotten to see a lot of my friends i missed while traveling, and made a lot of friends too since ive came back. the way i present myself to people, like my networking skills has gotten me sooo much free weed. and i love it. i thank my babyyboyy cleatus for that. I really wish that when we all got locked up in nebraska, that they would have just let me out so i could hop on that fucking train SOUTH and see stephen when he gets out in new mexico. i cant believe they havent let him out yet, fucking juvenile hall, those people are dicks. it's a surprise that our parents actually talked about marriage, behind our backs.. it's weird that the marriage was all my dad's idea, too. whatever happened to waiting til 30? most people are saying, 'youll be divorced by 21' which might not be a surprise.

like ive said to a lot of people though, stephen is the only man who took me away from my home, basically liberated me, showed me the beauty of my home state then took me out on the rails to show me more beautiful things in this world. what other man could say they've done that for me? most guys are allll talk. he actually did something. and all this i might have to go through, is gonna be worth it for him.

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

crazy. [07 Jan 2008|07:03pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | sea of deprivation ]

life.

since last post:


new group of friends.
really, really awesome people.
yet they make me feel like im such a little kid.
because i am
well, not really. i just cant goto the bar.


hah

my lip ring, it's stuck in my lip.
gotta get it surgically removed.
totes.

tomorrow,
last day in san diego for a week or so.
it'll feel like im in colorado for a damn month.
but, this'll give me a taste of how travelling will be with a hustler.

workin hard cause im the hard man workin'
hustlin hard cause im the dope man servin'

[(A)//(E)] ||

i dont know [23 Jul 2007|12:08am]
[ mood | blah ]

i just happened to remember about this shit.
nobody reads it anyway... so ima rant.


fuck man i dont know what to do about daniel
ive broken up with him & i really dont try to kick it with him a lot
but he STILL is in maddd love with me. i dont want that.
i understand though, he just turned 16 and that was how old i was when i was with my first love..but shit dan and i werent even together for that whopping couple years yet. . whatever, everyone remembers lyonn anyway. never thought a crusty would turn into a gang bangin convict huh


ANYWAYS

im tired of ex boyfriends.
fucking done..
im ready to start somethin fresh, which i kinda did.
how am i supposed to know what people are thinking about though.
am i being used?
no...
what is it?
something, its something that drives me crazy
but makes me happy because i know nothing.

=]

[(A)//(E)] ||

[22 Mar 2007|09:17am]
[ mood | distressed ]



freakin shit.

thats some bullshit this morning i was on my way to school and our car gets hit but a fucking huge dodge ram, cause theres a corvette in the middle of the road, just chillin.

today already started out shitty before i even woke up.
every fucking morning-night i have dreams of daniel fuckin around with some bitches, right infront of me and i always have to beat them down and threaten them so they just leave him alone. i must be obsessed or something.

[(A)//(E)] ||

[15 Mar 2007|09:10am]
[ mood | chipper ]
[ music | (A).P.P.L.(E). ]

next month i gotta start drug classes for 6 months.
ahhhhh!
so, debs get out of juvenile hall today... she's probably going to have to be in some sort of confinement at her house for a minute, which is the whole reason why shes locked up in the first place, cause she left her house.

wooooo! im going to the park for a field trip today!

i had the wierdest dream this morning, like i knew i was going on this field trip.
its at san carlos park, so we were there, my school, and even debs. the wierd thing is the teachers were my old teachers and they bought me a pack of newports and then bought the class vodka. we were drinking it with orange juice, and on the way back down to the trolly after leaving the park there was an escalator that turned into a slide and our drunk asses slid down it, it was fun. when we got to the bottom, it was wierd there was a place like balboa park with art exhibits and museums and big joe was there with sarah and that girl, michelle. she was all over him and sarah wasnt doing anything about it. they told me to STAY LOWW. or KEEP IT LOWW. that was wierd, then joe said he was down. hahahahaa..

i know that the field trip is going to be nothing like my dream though.

shiiiiiiiit, this computer im on used to be mine a year ago and it has the best music on it.

[(A)//(E)] ||

[12 Jan 2007|10:14am]
wowwww

yesterday was the first time really really getting caught the eff up.
i was chillin at a trolly with debs and demonwell
and the heads,
while some dude comes up all with the quickness lookin normal and fat
well he took my do dee and busted out his badge,
finally, after all these years, i was caught with nature's gift.
i was scared since i couldnt find my pass and debs &dan had theirs, but theyre onn probation too
for a second, debs started to seem sketch, like her storyy while yelling at the cops..
it was all on mee.
eventually, they just call up wells and send me away
but after i told him my race, he looked at me and then started whispering to the other cop about how fucking hot i was and how hes surprised im in high school.
fucking pigs, snitches mannn
haha even the gangsta black cop, debs was calling him a fuckin snitch, cause thats what he is.
i have court march 7.
the same month dan gets off probation and ends his drug classes.
ill find out how he feels then, freaking out and punching holes in the wall.
1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[09 Nov 2006|10:44am]
well, yesterday was the leftover crack show.
after school, we came up on fat amounts of waterleaf &shmoked it like no other
then, after the search for real buds, we were unsuccessful.
we went to the show at like 3
&then we got spacebag &found a sick spot in a field.
it was debs, Mark, Ariel, new homies Carlos &ceasar... &I.
we left faded, came back with a grip of new heads.
the cops came. everyone jumped over this fence, I couldnt I was too faded
so I got help on this wall, on the other side was a pitbull.
it bit me in the face &leg, then stole my purse which had my ticket.
I STARTED BALLING.
someone whoever it was, was so sweet and I had enough money again to get a ticket,
sweet.
there was a grip of drama concerning my crew, I had to go off on a fucking man.
i have bruises from being pulled back.
&&&its stupid cause its concerning sid, who i hate witha passion but love,
although his drama starting ass gets us women in trouble.
to me, Sid's not even apart of the family anymore.
I haaate those motherfucking northpark kids. because they have no idea...
they wer elike FUCK JUAN!! hahaha juans never been in lowwlife, idiots.
i had fun though, although today SUCKS

my babygirl is going to get locked up, hopefully not.
&i had the worst hangover this morning, and all my bruises are throbbing;
thats what i get for going to a CRACKTOBERFEST anywho.
whatevs clevs, I'm sorry if i was stupid last night.
1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[21 Oct 2006|02:44pm]
[ mood | silly ]
[ music | crass ]

666


ieathotdogsandcheese

yeah right i dont eat that slaughter.
that was dan the man hes a slaughtereater.

and im a cunt


so is dan


SOMEONE hang out with me
like lynze&maria cause you girls are hot
well, what is proposed for the day?
chillaxin.
drankin maybe.
and pissing in my bed

cause it got peed in last night

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[11 Sep 2006|09:06am]
[ mood | fat ]

i started el cajon summit with debs so its sick with it. 
GK thinks i stole three quarters. i dont steal, especially when theyre a homie
&if its all about the moneyyyyyy






got thizzed out last weekend with debs
it was healthy

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[31 Aug 2006|10:38am]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | Visionary -Easy Company ]

these are the homies listen to em cause imma be in their songs, one day. ahhaha sick with it http://www.playmorecords.com/mp3/EasyCompany-Violence.mp3 http://www.playmorecords.com/mp3/EasyCompany-Visionary.mp3 <3

2[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[31 Aug 2006|08:29am]
[ mood | worried ]
[ music | luni coleone ]

i thought you knew i was a gangsta bitch, fuck fallin in love

wow, its been a really LONG time since i've talked to lyonn. I miss my baby sooooo much I miss the attention and the person to be there to appreciate me and my body. that sucks not having a love out here in the real world, but locked up.. wishing he could talk to me or see me, but all i could do is live my life until circumstances come to show that i could speak to him again.

I'm leaving my school, and i'm fine with it... i guess. I mean, I wanted to leave, so I could be with my best friend everyday but FUCK, I'm runnin shit here, and everything is just so easy for me here. I WANT to stay for America, Justin, Jacob &Norwegian but damnn. I don't know I'm going to see these mothafuckas everyday anyways, you know we drink, ride smoke&get high.

i got new shoes yesterday...
sick ass white&blue FILAs.. &I'm getting another pair shipped in the mail, but those ones are my mothafuckin pimpin shiny black ones. siiiiwayy.

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[28 Aug 2006|10:21am]
hyphy.
[(A)//(E)] ||

[28 Aug 2006|08:20am]
[ mood | hot ]
[ music | thug shit -luni coleone ]

imma make new friends, become a rapper &GET MONEY.



hahaha at least, i want to.
my best friends other than debs, are not bringing me anywhere.
if I stay chillin the way I am until I'm eighteen, I won't have anything accomplished.
I need to start thinkin about my future &whatnot.
met a photographer last night &he told me I'd be a good modellllllllllllll..

UH
they call me luni coleone down to dump on the snitch
fuck em all nigga this is west coast bitch


OH last night some pregnant crip bitch was talkin shit to me &debs,
cause HER BABY DADDY was trying to get at ME.
fuck bitches
get money

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[25 Aug 2006|10:54am]
I've known him since I was 12. He's ALWAYS known I was beautiful. He tried for 2 years to get with me, get in me, do what he wanted. NOT ONE TIME it became physical... he never pinned me down, he never ripped off my clothes, he ALWAYS asked... ALWAYS.. and everytime the answer was NO. After I said that word, GOTTA KEEP MY FACE SERIOUS..NO SMILES, he'd walk away. when I giggled while saying no is when he thought i was kidding. what could he do? tickle me to death? that's the most it's gone.. but of course I don't know how these other girls feel. I'm his family.. I'm not a random girl.. I'm not some drugged up whore..

So I guess i've never been afraid.
Don't act scared girl cause you look cute when you scream.

[oh &katie. I never called you a slut. You've never been a whore, although the other girls I know he's had sex with were. If you had any idea of how I felt about you before you started this case, I'm sure you wouldn't be saying things you do now. You have a great effect on people, and that may be why he did what he wanted to do. I always have thought about you everyday. Although we did not hang out for a long time, that part of our lives was incredibly ...i dont know. we started things at the same time, about. Ive felt very close to you

so, yesterday I was sitting in class. This girl whos like 14 is getting made fun of, cause her boyfriends a skinhead. She said some shit, we said some shit, and she walks out. She walks back in, gets infront of the black kids, and says "You niggers are a disgrace to your black race. People like you are the reason why people become racist."

That got me thinking, when you're 14, it's easy to say or do what your influces say/do. This girl is confused, she doesn't know what to believe in, she doesn't know who to believe. She thinks she can handle it, when in real life she'll end up dead mimmicking someone's words. In this case, this girl's boyfriend used to be a SHARP. I think he might still be... but the men this girl HAS SEX WITH are racist. what irony.
4[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[24 Aug 2006|10:21am]
hey KATIE JAMES. [&the Kidd]

I thought we were friends. Why would you bring up something that may have happened, what, about 2 years ago, up, now? If something was honestly bothering you LIKE THAT, why didn't you get a fucking detective when it actually occurred. When I got that phone call from Chris yesterday saying he snitched on Kenn like that, saying that motherfucker's been raping all these girls and shit, well i'm sorry but maybe if YOU FUCKING GIRLS HAD THE WILLPOWER TO SAY NO. I COULD EVEN SAY NO TO HIM, AT MY MOST FUCKED UP MOMMENTS, I WAS HIGH AS A MOTHERFUCKER ON TWEAK ALREADY NAKED AND I COULD STILL SAY NO TO ANYONE IF I WANTED TO. MAYBE, SOME DUMB BITCHES SHOULD STOP GETTING FUCKED UP AND HAVING SEX WITH PEOPLE, AND BLAMING IT ON THE MAN..SAYING THEY GOT RAPED, BECAUSE ITD LOOK BAD TO HAVE SEX WITH SOMEONE LIKE THAT, WOULDN'T IT? Although, Katie James, if it was really rape... then why'd you go back to his dick about a month later? No one remembered that, did they.

I'm always around my best friends, except when they're locked up. well.. i've seen my friends fuck many girls, and these girls that are fucked don't even ATTEMPT to stop these guys, and that's your fault, not the drug and not the man.
9[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[23 Aug 2006|08:31am]
well, the last few days have been quite hectic. I've been moving to my new apartment and it sucks, kinda. When I walked into it for the first time, the smell that came upon me was of hotel, preferrably easy 8. I think there's a methlab upstairs, and that's not very healthy. Theres a shitload of white trash fat bitches that like to argue a lot. Most of the men are bros or mexicans, all coming from being locked up supposedly. The only thing that made me happy about my new pad is that as I walked up last night, I smelled that smell of all smells that I am completely in love with, which is a PEACH OPTIMO BLUNT. siway. It was some fine mexican guy. hahaha. All the mexicans got fat bitches, though. that sucks. So I live on SECOND ST. where it turns into WINTERGARDENS or WINTERCREST or something. I think its like out of el cajon and more by lakeside. I'm not sure, but its all shitty pizzo smoke to me in east county
1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[21 Aug 2006|10:04am]
[ mood | cold ]
[ music | the jetsons movie ]


yeah bro, i gotta fringe

my camra sucks, although this is precious.

my hair got hella long, yall.

how big can YOUR eyes be?

i'm a gangsta, but yall know that.

2[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

[21 Aug 2006|09:36am]
[ mood | exhausted ]
[ music | Sean Paul likes wake me up on my phone ]

so, today's my last day living next to the ocean. that sucks. i HELLA enjoy the climate here, it's never too hot like damn east county. I'm moving to El Cajon today.. most my friends are in el cajon/la mesa/ spring valley area ANYWAYSSSSSS... so it's alright. i just really like living five minutes away from downtown, where the party's at.

1[genocide][(A)//(E)] ||

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]

Advertisement